Coming soon I'll tell my whole story of where I'm coming from, and where I'd like to be going. But for now, the last few days have driven me to inches of my sanity. I had said, I'm going to give Weight Watchers the old college try for a full month before saying "It doesn't work" and move on to something else. Okay, when I can manage to stay on plan, it does work. But my problems are several:
- It's the time of year when barbecues and other events are going to be many. Those do not fit well.
- When I have no control over what I'm preparing, I could be facing anything, and then I have to guesstimate my points.
- I get hungry. A lot.
- Events. Events. And more events.
- They buy us food a lot at work, and none of it fits my points.
- Did I mention it's events season?
It seems as though every weekend, there's something going. It's someone's birthday, it was father's day, there's another birthday, it was my daughter's birthday. Every. Weekend. In the grand scheme, I did lose a couple of pounds. But then something happens, I fall off plan, and now I'm right back to where I started. I had a couple days stretch last week where I was doing everything right: My points were bang on the dot, I lifted heavy, and I ran.
Oh, out of nowhere, my calf injury is gone. Never had an explanation for what caused it, or how I made it go away. But I attempted the Corporate Challenge and felt like the damn thing was going to tear again, gave up running and lifted only, with just running as a cool down (still with pain), and then two weeks later ran a half mile straight without so much as a twinge. Not sure why, not going to question it.
The damn scale won't budge. I did everything right and still gained. Muscle you might say. It's denser than fat. (None of this muscle weighs more nonsense, a pound is a pound. But a pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)
Not so fast now. The tape measure hasn't budged either, and neither has the way my clothes fit changed.
This lead me to my first meltdown of the week, around Wednesday-ish. Poor Jon, he must have a soggy shoulder by now from me crying on it. He suggested, why don't we call my doctor and have blood work done to see if there's an underlying issue. That's probably the only thing I haven't tried yet. Not so fast, again. I have to pay up to my $1000 deductible plus 10% coinsurance to get labs drawn. Not worth it when I might not even find out anything! I got so upset that I didn't feel like working out. I asked myself, what's the point? Usually it reinvigorates me to go harder but this time, the Phoenix felt broken. I felt nothing. Just, apathy. Why fight so hard for nothing?
The right song came on my playlist that day and snapped me out of it. (Cheap Thrills will snap me pretty quickly out of it, or Havana is a good backup.) Thursday I took a half day to spend with my daughter for her birthday. Friday things seemed like they were back on track, and then it all blew up. To protect privacy from here I am not going to elaborate on things, but something happened at my daughter's 2 year appointment that made what should have been an hour in and out into a 3 hour ordeal that we're waiting on results for. I had pushed my Wednesday workout to Thursday and didn't have time, so it pushed to Friday and then I was so emotionally drained that I just couldn't. Saturday came and I did make my return to Zumba, but my lifting got pushed again to Sunday. Well, everything blew up again on Saturday. I will not elaborate on what happened, or to who, but it was VERY serious. Now I'm COMPLETELY emotionally shot, and my house is full of leftover cake, burgers, and potato salad. I need complete deliverance.
I arrived at the office today knowing that the Saturday situation was improving. Still waiting to hear about my daughter, but hers isn't as serious. But I was going to get back on the beam today and I noticed, I'm 2 full workouts behind now. And, I forgot my phone. So I can't take my plan with me to the gym. It's a beautiful day, why don't I run, and I'll just pick up my lifting on Wednesday like nothing happened. Cool.
My breathing is not terribly behind, my calf feels great. No music but I'm going for it. And then? I'm heading up the final stretch towards work and I hear someone talk-shouting behind me. I couldn't hear what he was saying, didn't know if he was talking on the phone or shouting at me but I ignored him. Still, it scared me. I turned down the side road to work and while my run intervals were over I decided to add another one. At that point, I tripped over a spot in the sidewalk that was a bit uneven, executed a perfect tuck and roll (thank you Tae Kwon Do) and popped back up with just a scrape on my elbow. I hightailed my rear end back to the office, and now am hiding in my little hole in the wall.
Whoever put this jinx on me, kindly remove it, please! The phoenix is tired of feeling the flames.
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